Annual Variety Show - September 2015
Author: Pauline Emery
Date: 1st January
by Pauline Emery
S = Soprano = Pauline Emery
A = Alto = Jenny Parks
T = Tenor = Patti C
All carrying black folders.
S. It's Monday evening.
A. Choir practise.
T. Ruth will be here soon.
S. Let's ask Patti about her trip to China.
A. Did you have a good time ?
S. How was the holiday ?
T. Sisters gather round. Wonderful trip except I got Ching.
A. Oh no ! Was it ching-a- ring ?
S. ---or ching-a-ring-ring ?
T. Not sure---but I got a ho in my ding larkee
S. I got that once and had to make sure not to fade away oh oh.
T. It was awful.
A. Hush little tenor don't you cry. Don't fade away oh oh.
S. I'll comfort you. If angels cry—I'll be there for you.
T. Whether I lasted the night or no—I'm sure it was always touch and go.
A. I wanna die easy when I die---do you ?
T. Let's change the subject. Have you two been anywhere interesting ?
A. I did a go-cart ride all around Saltsburg.
S. I went for a long walk .
T. Where ?
S. In a valley of love and delight
A. Sounds like a place just right. I've been swimming.
T. She likes swimming and so do I. Every morning when we wake we go down to the
river to swim wearing our long white robes.
S. Bit too wet for me. All I do is wade in the water.
T. Since coming back from my holiday---I've been so blue—been so blue.
S. Maybe we could plan a trip ?
T. Where to ?
A. I've always wanted to go into outer space.
S. We could ride on a star. All the stars are coming out tonight.
A. We could rule the world and light up the sky a long way from home.
T. That's not possible and tis the gift to come down where you ought to be. Don't know
when I've been so blue.
S. +A --been so blue
A. You need to find somebody kind to help and understand you.
T. Yes—I need a gentle hand to guide me along.
S. Don't wait a minute more—go downtown.
A. There are movie shows.
S. Everything's waiting for you.
T. You mean Mold ?
S. The lights are much brighter there. You will forget all your troubles.
A. No finer place. Things 'll be great.
S.+ A. Maybe we'll see you there. You'll forget all your cares.
T. I'd like to learn a gentle Bosanova.
A. To the harp and the fiddle ? We can bow and bend.
S. We'll dance and sing and shout---and shan't be ashamed.
T. I'll turn, turn, it will be my delight.
S. Show me your motion, tra la la la lah. Yes, if you turn, turn, you'll come round right.
A. We can waltz & jig & prance. I can hear the drums a a strummin'.
T. All through the night? Is it expensive in Mold.?
S. Not really---you don' need to fear.
A. If you have no money.
S. You don' need none there.
A. To buy you half of bitter.
T. Oh, I wish I was in Mold---away, away.
A. I'm gonna wear my long brown coat, buttoned down before.
S. After the dancing, we can go to The Coach & Horses.
T. For four
T. One courses.
S. Just a minute---why are we counting backwards ?
A. I can't do normal counting now. I blame Ruth.
T. Never mind---tis the gift to be simple
A. Are you missing the tea break?
S. Not at all—I felt like a motherless child in that kitchen.
T. Poor you.
S. Don't know when I've been so blue.
A. + T. been so blue.
S. I knew freedom was coming, oh yes, I knew. Glory, glory, hallelujah !
T. How's your dog, Jenny ?
A. Fine on the mend and the cat got lost but came back the very next day.
S. You thought he was a goner ?
A. He just couldn't stay away. I threw him in the kennel where the dog was fast asleep
T. + S. Holy Thunder !!
S. Here's Ruth. Have you two practised your lavs ?
T. With the vertical mouth ?
A. Altogether now.
S.+ A + T. Lav, lav.lav
A. We'll say goodbye.
S. But just.
T. For now.
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